TORONTO – Braxton Warmington, 18, a Mormon missionary, was busy nodding his head in polite agreement earlier today while local University student, Corey Langhart, 20, castigated him for several minutes about how religion was a fraud and God doesn’t exist.
Warmington reportedly invoked the strength of the Lord for patience numerous times as, according to sources, Langhart “would not shut the fuck up”.
“First he brought up the fallacies in the ontological arguments for the existence of God,” said onlooker, Karen Chan, adding that Langhart had this smug fucking look on his face the whole time. “Then he went straight into the problem of evil as if this missionary kid was going to throw away his entire belief system because of his arrogant lecturing.”
Witnesses say the incident started after the young follower of the Church of Latter Day Saints merely said, “Hello,” to the stranger on a public sidewalk near U of T campus. Langhart apparently took this as an invitation to rehash several of anti-theist arguments he’d learned during his two years of post-secondary education, which, of course makes him a Goddamn expert on the subject.
Langhart was last seen fucking droning on, having begun indicting the Mormon Church for being a “corrupt, bigoted institution started by a perverted con man”, citing all the information he had gathered from years of watching South Park. Witnesses also report seeing Langhart handing the beleaguered missionary student a well-worn copy of Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion.
At press time, nobody’s minds were changed.
