TORONTO – A tense altercation with a man brandishing a knife on a TTC bus ended in a hail of words projected by Toronto Police.
“It was one sentence after another until the man couldn’t take it any more,” said an onlooker, “I won’t shake that horrifyingly peaceful negotiation anytime soon.”
This shocking act of restraint is yet another mark on an otherwise lethal and deadly police force.
“When I hear that a man with a knife is allowed to walk out of a bus and into police custody, it terrifies me.” remarked one concerned citizen. “If this insanity keeps up I may actually have faith in our justice system.”
Despite the officers engaging in a five-hour long non-violent confrontation, they will all continue to receive salary and benefits.
“We are doing an internal investigation to find out what allowed this professionalism to take place.” commented police chief, Mark Saunders. “If it turns out that this city has brave, smart, and well trained police officers, then I promise we will get to the bottom of it.”
As the city comes to terms with another senseless death prevented many are asking themselves, who will be saved next?
