Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day! - The Beaverton

Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day!

OTTAWA—Scientists released a report today indicating that shit! It’s Mother’s Day! Fuck, what time is it?

Authors of the report further stated that goddamn it, Mom’s probably already in bed by now and your sister probably already called her. Data also indicated that how could you forget?

At press time, scientists will get her an extra big present for her birthday. Which was in January, dammit.