VATICAN CITY – The 115 member Cardinal Conclave in the Sistine Chapel signaled that it was unable to determine the next pope by burning a suspicious smelling substance.
“Yeah, we weren’t able to make up our minds,” coughed Cardinal Augustoni Gilberto. “We decided to break the rules because we ate all the wafer chips and kept giggling at all of the penises that Michelangelo painted on the ceiling.”
A press briefing was cut short after the cardinals quickly returned to the Chapel upon hearing that they were going to watch Super Troopers and Don’t Be a Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.
