TORONTO – At Canada’s biggest entertainment event of the year, attendees are reporting that our country’s celebrities are being outdone by their American counterparts.
“I was standing outside the Lightbox and Sarah Polley was signing autographs,” said TIFF onlooker Cindy Roppel. “Then Kathryn Bigelow of The Hurt Locker showed up in a Hum-V. Sarah went to give her a hug, but Bigelow just tossed her the keys and told her not to scratch it.”
Avid TIFF partier Bruce Walker was standing outside Brasaii restaurant when Steven Page stumbled out.
“He was looking a little rough, and incorrectly muttering the words to ‘One Week.’ I was about to cross the street to put him in a cab when a coked out Charlie Sheen stormed through an intersection driving a TTC streetcar full of naked woman while blasting Wild Thing on the speakers.”
Zanzibar dancer Tiffany Minx said her club was the scene of a near riot when controversial American singer Chris Brown and Canadian sweetheart Michael Bublé entered. “Brown was throwing bottles at mirrors and trying to start fights with everyone around him. Michael tried to join in but all he ended up instigating was a sing along rendition of ‘Call Me Irresponsible.’”
“It was alright,” Minx added. “But you just can’t strip to Bublé.”
