TORONTO – As Canada continues to impose sanctions on the Russian Oligarchs who prop up both the Putin regime and our overinflated housing market, economists warn this may cause a real estat…
Tag: Real Estate
Failed artist excited for career in real estate
VANCOUVER – Failed playwright Jacob Jones was gleeful today after passing his real estate exam. While Jones’ ambition to see his work premier on Broadway – or even at a local Fringe F…
Toronto unreal estate agent sells house for 5 kajillion dollars
TORONTO – On another great day for the local imaginary housing market, non-realtor Wendy Phan has sold a lovely 2 and a half story house for 3 kajillion dollars over the asking price. The p…
Theatre-of-the-mind to be demolished for condominium-of-the-mind
THE HUMAN PSYCHE – Despite numerous fundraisers and letter-writing campaigns held to try and save it, the longstanding theatre-of-the-mind, popularly known as the imagination, is set to close nex…
Childhood home sold to lovely young numbered holding company
BRAMPTON – Local family the Feldmans have recently sold their beloved 2-story bungalow to a charming, newly-incorporated holding company. “Our family made a lot of memories in that home,” e…
Toronto in chaos as combination Condo/A&W/Weed Stores gain sentience, overrun city
TORONTO – The downtown area is in complete chaos as Torontonians flee for their lives after the city’s omnipresent condos, A&W franchises, and marijuana dispensaries somehow coalesced …
Experts advise house hunting millennials to stop buying lattes and start forming exploitative development groups
TORONTO – After Core Development Group announced plans to buy a billion dollars worth of Canadian homes and convert them into rental units, financial advisers are telling millennials in the housi…
‘Over Asking’ portion of Sold Over Asking yard sign real fucking unnecessary
TORONTO – As housing prices continue to skyrocket, many are pointing out that Realtors’ habit of putting the ‘Over Asking’ next to their Sold sign is probably not needed a…
Goals! How these two millennials managed to buy a home in Toronto
TORONTO – The Toronto housing market is on fire right now, but these two millennials still managed to afford a home in the city with a few easy tricks! “We were both able to monetize how we…
Real estate agents confirm your parents must die before you can afford to buy a house
NATIONWIDE – With real estate prices once again booming after a slight COVID-related decline, Canada’s real estate agents have officially confirmed what many have suspected for some t…
