Ottawa, ON – After strong polling numbers showing the Conservative party’s newfound popularity, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has changed tactics by reminding Canadians he can be j…
Tag: politics
Erin O’Toole speaks out against the violent anti-vaxxers whose support he is actively courting
OTTAWA – As aggressive right-wing, anti-vax protestors continue to scream obscenities and shout at staff during Trudeau rallies, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole has called their beha…
Delta variant excited to vote for Maxime Bernier
North Bay, ON – While making a pre-election tour in communities as far away from non-white Canadians as possible, Maxime Bernier gained an early endorsement when the Covid Delta variant exp…
Conservative Party accuses opposition of secretly founding Conservative Party to make Conservative Party look bad
OTTAWA – In a shocking move, Conservative leaders have accused opposition parties of secretly founding the Conservative Party, as part of an elaborate, decades-long scheme to make the Conse…
Drug dealer shockingly bad at getting people drugs
TORONTO – With Ontario in the midst of a third wave of the COVID Pandemic, Ontario Premier and former hash dealer Doug Ford has proven to be absolutely terrible at getting residents the pha…
Party that promised to institute Pharmacare votes against Bill to institute Pharmacare because it would too quickly institute Pharmacare
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party, which campaigned on instituting a national Pharmacare program, recently rejected attempts by the NDP to institute a national Pharmacare program, on the grounds t…
Man storming Canadian capital in buffalo horns turns out to be actual buffalo
OTTAWA – The RCMP are reassuring Canadians that a man in buffalo horns seen storming the Canadian capital earlier this month was not in fact a right-wing insurrectionist, but an actual buff…
Doug Ford to reopen high schools after pressure from vodka cooler lobby
Caledon, ON – Doug Ford announced that secondary schools in Toronto, Peel Region, and York Region will resume in-person instruction February 16th, a move many believe was spurred by mountin…
Ford confident dead Ontarians would’ve been much happier seeing COVID funding used to balance his budget
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario sitting on $6.4 billion in unallocated pandemic-relief funds, more than any other province, Premier Doug Ford assured Ontarians that using those funds to balance…
Poll finds 100% of liberal voters would vote NDP if they thought it had a chance at winning
TORONTO ― An Ipsos poll released today found that 100% of voters who identified themselves as having voted Liberal in the last federal election had strategically voted that way. Of the 2400 parti…