NOTE: The author of this op-ed has requested to remain anonymous (But not because I’m not proud of my opinion, okay?) I am a man of principle. It’s important to stick up for what you believe and …
Tag: pandemic
Trudeau contracts COVID-19 again: “And this was the week I was gonna do electoral reform, too”
OTTAWA – Following the announcement that he has tested positive a second time for COVID-19, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau informed Canadians that this will unfortunately preempt the week he…
Ontario pharmacies facing shortage of cold medicine for some reason
TORONTO – Pharmacies across Ontario are facing a shortage of cold-fighting household staples, and no one seems to be able to pinpoint the reason why. Across the province, residents are unab…
Delta and Omicron variants jealous that younger XE strain gets away with anything it wants
TORONTO – The Delta and Omicron variants are reportedly upset that they had to deal with the provincial government’s rules and regulations, whereas the younger XE subvariant gets to run wil…
Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin
GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regula…
5 return-to-office tips for not being recognized as a husk of your former self
Uh oh! Your co-workers haven’t seen you in person since March of 2020, back when you were a hopeful idealist with a pep in her step and a contagious joie de vivre. Now you’re an empty shell only …
Businesses experiencing ‘just average’ call volume for the first time since 2020
VICTORIA, BC – After claiming to be experiencing higher than average call volume for a suspiciously long period of time during COVID-19, businesses are now reporting daily customer calls have dro…
COVID enters 6th wave despite clearly running out of ideas by Wave 3
OTTAWA — The Public Health Agency of Canada confirmed today that the country is now in the 6th wave of the COVID-19 pandemic signaled by the all too familiar pattern of climbing case numbers. Whi…
Ford calls 50 cent minimum wage hike “a little reward” for workers who survived covid
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced this week that the provincial minimum wage will be going up by $0.50 this fall, which he described as a “tasty little treat” for all those…
Employer successfully schedules return to office for peak of new COVID wave yet again
TORONTO – Local consulting firm J.P. Binderschlatz & Co. has once again asked it’s 40 employees to return to work in-office right at the peak of the latest COVID wave. “We&#…