OTTAWA – As police officers from the RCMP, OPP and Ottawa Police continue to downplay the necessity of the Emergencies Act in finally ending the Freedom Convoy Protest, they have made it cl…
Tag: OPP
4 ways to justify your late night Denny’s run to the cops
Doug Ford is giving Ontario’s police the power to stop anyone and ask why they’ve left their home in order to crunch down on rising COVID cases. But don’t let that stop you from crunching d…
Police say that anti-Nazi graffiti “hits close to home”
OAKVILLE, ON – After a monument commemorating soldiers who fought in Hitler’s SS was vandalized with spray paint recently, Halton Regional Police have declared that “this hate crime hits es…
OPP: We have exhausted all forms of polite colonialism
TYENDINAGA – Officials with the Ontario Provincial Police have moved in on Indigenous protesters after exhausting all their strategies of polite colonialism. “We graciously asked them to le…
Doug Ford’s customized OPP van runs over first whistleblower
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford’s customized OPP van has reportedly struck its first whistleblower near Queen’s Park earlier today. The specialized van complete with $100,000 worth of u…
“Possible hate crime” definitely actual hate crime
KINGSTON, ON — Police are investigating an incident outside a Walmart in Kingston that they have described as a “possible hate crime” despite it definitely being a real, actual hate crime. “It wa…
Kathleen Wynne boosts Ontario economy with province-wide two-drink minimum
ONTARIO – In an attempt to ensure a new cash flow for the provincial government, Premier Kathleen Wynne has implemented a new policy forcing Ontarians to have two alcoholic beverages at all…
OPP investigating RCMP probing Senators reviewing RCMP scrutinizing OPP union
OTTAWA – The Ontario Provincial Police’s report on the RCMP’s response to the Parliamentary shootings last October may be overshadowed by the RCMP investigating the same Senators who will s…
Serial buzzkiller continues to elude capture
HAMILTON, ON – The Ontario Provincial Police are still searching for a man wanted in connection with several gruesome buzzkillings in the Hamilton area. Recently identified as Burlington re…