TORONTO – The Court of Appeal for Ontario has rejected noted psychologist and asshole Jordan Peterson’s attempt to avoid attending an anti-assholery class required by the College of Psychol…
Tag: Mental Health
Housecat painfully aware of how much owner’s mental health is riding on his tummy being so fluffy
WINNIPEG – In a rare display of feline self-awareness, George, an 8-year-old housecat, expressed concern over the fact that his owner Elizabeth’s mental health and happiness seemed to revol…
Expensive therapist makes higher quality “mmmm” sounds
VANCOUVER — Demand for professional counsellor Lorraine Novak has skyrocketed, thanks to her ability to make particularly empathetic “mmmm” sounds while her clients blab about their miserable liv…
Local man enjoys mental health day by neglecting physical health
PRINCE ALBERT, SK – Area man Cameron Elliot has reportedly taken the day away from work to focus on his mental health by indulging in his favourite restoration activity; slowly deterioratin…
Four tips for mental wellness that don’t do shit because it’s dark at fucking 4pm
It’s important to do everything possible to stay ahead of the winter blahs, especially as the long nights drag on and January’s icy grasp makes you want to leave this frigid mortal coil. Luckily,…
REPORT: Loneliness epidemic singled out, ostracized by other epidemics
RICHMOND, BC – As persistent loneliness continues to affect the health of billions, it remains unable to gain acceptance and inclusion from its epidemic peers. “I’ve been harming people’s well-be…
Countries outside U.S. mark another day without action movies, violent video games or mental illness
LONDON – The countries of the world (except America) enjoyed another day without a mass shooting, a fact entirely attributable to the reality that nowhere but the U.S.A. do people watch act…
New research shows the thing you’re doing to cope with your depression is the cause of your depression
CALGARY, AB – A new study from the Centre for Canadian Mental Health and Wellness (CCMHW) found that among Canadians aged 18-35, the near-ubiquitous cause of mental distress was the thing t…
Workplace reminds you mental health comes first unless it impedes productivity
MONTREAL – Earlier this week tech start-up Fraggle sent a company-wide email reminding employees that mental health always comes first unless it impedes their productivity or makes their co…
Local woman tragically forced to explain TikTok to therapist
HALIFAX – After a particularly harrowing week online, local University student Becky Clyborne was left with no choice but to explain the inner workings of TikTok to her therapist. “I told h…