Brantford, ON – This morning adorable toddler Liam O’Reilly, 3, declared that Daylight Saving Time was a fucking joke and he would arise at his normal hour, even if that was technical…
Tag: Featured Post
New Conservative Party variant raises concerns
OTTAWA – A team of high level health officials are currently tracking a newly-discovered variant of the Conservative Party of Canada. The new variant was first detected among a caucus of Co…
Breaking: YouTube ads all in French again
Waterloo, ON – Reports from the Finkel residence have confirmed that the Youtube ads are all in French again. “I needed a break but I didn’t have time to watch a 22 minute tv sh…
Ford sends unvaccinated hospital workers to long term care facilities to free up more beds
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has backtracked on his government’s promise to suspend unvaccinated health care workers and will, instead, send them to long term care facilities to free up more…
Rhyming couplet seeks third
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON – Looking to spice up the poem they’re in, a rhyming couplet has posted an online classified that says “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall and had a great fall, but now we’re waiting…
Doug Ford promises to spend second term undoing harm caused by first term
TORONTO – After un-cancelling the $15 minimum wage increase, Premier Doug Ford is promising Ontarians that, if re-elected, he will spend the entirety of his second term fighting tooth and n…
“Excuse me, I have a head, it’s a pumpkin,” claims local Horseman
SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY – The figure known colloquially as the ‘Headless Horseman’ is attempting to set the record straight about the status of his cranium and the hurt caused by hund…
Mad pseudoscientist unable to replicate previous results at bringing monstrosity to life
CASTLE LAZARUS – Doctor Viktor Lazarus a “self-taught” student of the biological and galvanic sciences has purportedly been working for weeks to repeat his past success at creating ungodly …
Metastatic cancer worried people will start associating it with Facebook
MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…
