EDMONTON — Melissa Soares, frustrated with the sub-optimal aspects of her rabbit vibrator, has evicted it from her night-stand, exiling it to the Island of Misfit Sex Toys. “The gals on Sex and …
Tag: Featured Post
Vancouver considers buying a second snowplow
VANCOUVER — In a shocking turn of events, Vancouver city officials have announced the city may soon be making the landmark purchase of a second snowplow. Residents of the usually mild-weathered …
Spence Diamonds guarantees all holiday purchases: “If your wife doesn’t give you a blow job, Spence will!”
VANCOUVER, BC – Spence Diamonds now offers an added incentive to holiday shoppers – a customer satisfaction guarantee that if the giftee does not give head, Spence will be there to offer his. As …
Divorced Dad advent calendar promises big chocolate every other weekend
VANCOUVER — A new brand of advent calendar made for divorced dads by Divorced Dads features one very large chocolate every other weekend to show your child that you care just as much if not more …
How to go through the five stages of grief before meeting up with your friend who didn’t cancel
There is literally nothing better than cancelling plans. Seriously. If you look up the word “orgasm” in the dictionary, it’s just a picture of someone texting, “Sorry, can we reschedule?” Unfortu…
Twitter bans replying ‘lol’ to any joke not made by Elon Musk
SAN FRANCISCO – Twitter announced a surprising change to its Terms of Use today, informing users that replying ‘lol’, ‘lmao’, ‘haha’, and any variant thereof to any account othe…
Poilievre excited to show off his new Trump NFT trading cards during House of Commons recess
OTTAWA – As Canada’s federal legislators prepare to return home for their six-week winter break, the leader of the Conservative Party was seen running out of the House of Commons chamber to…
Apartment building named “Regency Landing” appoints Maintenance Viscount to fix leaking shitter pipes
VICTORIA — Proctor Properties Inc has recently appointed George William Sherston-Phipps Tollemache Montesquieu III of Roxborough as its Maintenance Viscount for the Regency Landing apartment buil…
FIFA announces losing World Cup teams have to take a stadium home with them
QATAR – As the World Cup enters its final phase, FIFA and Qatar have issued a joint statement that the last 7 teams knocked out of the tournament will be required to take the stadium in whi…
Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future quit rather than take assignment to visit Elon Musk
THE ETHEREAL PLANE – The magical spirits who normally visit rich monsters on Christmas Eve in order to get them to become caring human beings have all resigned from their positions after th…
