QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario sitting on $6.4 billion in unallocated pandemic-relief funds, more than any other province, Premier Doug Ford assured Ontarians that using those funds to balance…
Tag: Featured Post
New Harry Potter TV show will only go ahead if J.K. Rowling can personally inspect the genitals of everyone involved
LOS ANGELES – A new live-action Harry Potter television show is reportedly in very early development at HBO Max, and while no producers, directors, writers or actors have yet been attached,…
Trudeau: If Liberals vetted people before giving them powerful jobs, I’d never have become Prime Minister
OTTAWA – Under fire for not properly vetting Julie Payette before selecting her as Canada’s Governor General, Justin Trudeau pointed out today that too much vetting can actually be a …
Jason Kenney demands U.S. compensate Alberta for being led by Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is insisting that after Jason Kenney lost billions investing in the Keystone XL pipeline which President Joe Biden has cancelled, the U.S. government…
Julie Payette: I’m so sorry that my staffers are all a bunch of pussies
OTTAWA – Following news accounts of a scathing independent report into her workplace behaviour, Julie Payette resigned yesterday as Canada’s Governor General and released a public resignati…
Canada happy for friend who just got out of terrible relationship
OTTAWA – Canada is pleased as punch that its closest friend and neighbour is no longer in a long-term relationship with a real piece of shit. “It’s hard, when you see a powerful nation, one…
Breaking: Read the letter Trump left for Biden
After weeks of rumours that outgoing President Trump would break with tradition and not leave a letter for his successor Joe Biden, it has just been confirmed that he did in fact write a letter. …
Trump pardons COVID-19
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what may be the final batch of pardons issued by the president before the end of his term, Donald Trump has announced that COVID-19 will receive a full and complete pardon fo…
“Don’t call me Canada’s Donald Trump” says Canada’s Donald Trump Jr.
OTTAWA – Rejecting accusations that he is similar in any way to President Donald Trump, Canada’s equivalent to Donald Trump Jr. released a statement denying his party is in any way fa…
Trump spends final days just rubbing his dick on everything in White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the days wind down in the first and potentially only term held by President Trump, the Commander in Chief is reported to be spending his dwindling hours rubbing his penis ove…
