OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole pushed back against critics who have accused his plan for a carbon tax of being a carbon tax. “Our carbon levy is in no way a tax,” said O’Tool…
Tag: Featured Post
Ford confident he can defeat public health crisis with civil rights crisis
TORONTO – Following a massive increase in COVID cases in Ontario, Premier Doug Ford has decided that the best way to defeat this unprecedented threat to human life is with an equally unprec…
Ford refuses Red Cross aid after realizing red is a Liberal colour
TORONTO — The Federal Government offered to deploy the Canadian Red Cross today in order to provide Ontario with support for its vaccination clinics and healthcare system in the midst of a debili…
Ontario bans non-essential jacking off
TORONTO – At a press conference this morning Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced that the province would be banning all non-essential jacking off to combat the rise of COVID-19. “List…
Winter leg hair declared old growth by UNESCO
VICTORIA – After months of deliberation and strenuous debate, an expanse of winter leg hair located on the lower half of Hannah Angelopoulos has now been classified as old growth by the Uni…
Ford: we thought having a confusing mess of vaccine registration sites would give people in lockdown something to do
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford defended the shambolic vaccine registration process this morning, noting it gives Ontarians stuck at home something to spend all their time doing. “All pandemic …
Liberals shut down probe into sexual misconduct in the military after discovering they don’t care about sexual misconduct in the military
OTTAWA – Liberal members of a defence committee investigating sexual misconduct in Canada’s military have, in concert with Bloc Quebecois MPs, voted to shut down the investigation after the…
Moderna vaccine having bad reaction to Stephen Harper
CALGARY – A dose of Moderna’s COVID-19 Vaccine recently injected into the arm of former Prime Minister Stephen Harper says it is expecting serious side-effects. “From the moment…
Albertans pleasantly surprised that only 17 of their representatives admit to wanting them dead
EDMONTON – After 17 members of Jason Kenney’s government signed a letter opposing his latest lockdown, Albertans were relieved to discover that the number of MLAs who would explicitly sacrifice t…
“Why did Meghan murder Prince Philip?” ask British tabloids
LONDON – In the wake of The Duke of Edinburgh’s untimely death at the far too young age of 99, British tabloids are wondering how and why his granddaughter-in-law Meghan Markle murdered him…
