MONTREAL – A local bottle of Frank’s Red Hot nested above the A&W garbage/napkin station appears as though it may shatter into dust with the subtle draft of a Teen burger being removed …
Tag: Fast Food
Poe scholars uncover early “The Pita Pit and the Pendulum” draft
KINGSTON – Queen’s University scholars have announced the discovery of a preliminary draft of Edgar Allen Poe’s famous “The Pit and the Pendulum” set in Canada’s famous quick-service pita c…
Local man totally enthusiastic about using new paper straw until about ¾ of the way through his drink
KITCHENER – Local carpenter and casual environmentalist Kai Ambrose has announced he’s really excited about using a disposable, paper straw for his recently purchased soft drink, blissfully unawa…
Opinion: I am so much better than everyone in this Taco Bell
By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works …
Stalwart Winnipeggers not going to let the A&W being on fire get in the way of their drive-thru order
WINNIPEG – Showing an absolute resolve in their dedication to the A&W fast-food chain, loyal Winnipeggers were still making orders through the drive-thru despite the restaurant being co…
Taco Bell introduces Cheesy Gordita Trough
Irvine, CA – Building on some of their most popular menu items and the basest instincts of their customers, Taco Bell unveiled their newest menu item, the Cheesy Gordita Trough. “We took th…
A&W Canada to replace plastic straws with organic 100% beef tubes
OTTAWA – In an effort to reduce petroleum waste, A&W Canada will phase out plastic straws by 2019, replacing them with grain-fed beef tubes. “A&W has long been an innovator in dri…
Quiz: What disappointingly bland Tim Horton’s food item are you?
From bagels to donuts to chilli to whatever potato dish they’re trying to force on people this week, Tim Hortons delights with food that ranges from ‘just fine’ to ‘nothing else is open’. T…
Harvey’s employee refuses to make burger Stephanie’s ‘stupid fucking’ way
BOWMANVILLE, ON – Long time Harvey’s employee Rick Mauran is facing an internal employment review, and possible disciplinary action, after he refused to make a burger to customer Stephanie Harris…