PALM BEACH, FL – In a video statement taped at his Mar-a-Lago country club, former President Trump assured voters that his firmly held stance on abortion is also whatever stance will create…
Tag: election
Poilievre threatens snap election over carbon tax hike, citing inability to maintain constant rage farming until 2025
OTTAWA – Pierre Poilievre officially introduced a non-confidence motion against Justin Trudeau’s Liberals today, hoping to topple the ruling party in a snap election because, in the opposit…
Liberals explain why they’re so far behind in the polls
The federal liberals continue to flounder, with poll after poll finding that, if an election were held today, Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives would secure a massive majority government. We…
PCs remind Manitobans no one can see you jerk off in the voting booth
WINNIPEG – Following a last-minute campaign ad urging constituents to “vote like no one is watching” and ignore the fear of moral judgement for casting their vote a certain way, Manitoba PCs are …
Quiz: Who should you vote for in the Alberta Provincial Election
It’s election day in Alberta! And if you are a resident of the Wildrose Province you may be wondering: who should I cast my ballot for? Well take this fun quiz and then you will be in a bin…
Reports circulate about Toronto having some kind of mayoral election
TORONTO – Unsubstantiated reports have begun to circulate throughout the metro area that some kind of municipal election may be taking place, quite possibly right under residents’ noses. “I…
This Brad J. Lamb condo development sign is running for Mayor of Toronto
TORONTO – In the lead up to the October 22 municipal election, it looks like incumbent Mayor John Tory will have a new opponent to face: this Brad J. Lamb Condo Development Notice Sign. The…
Guy who fucking hates wetlands really stoked about election outcome
CALEDON, ON – Public reaction to this week’s provincial election results has been mixed, save for one local man who is thrilled to watch the slow decimation of Ontario’s wetlands. “I couldn…
Strung out province comes crawling back to Dealer for another hit
TORONTO – After swearing they were done with him and everything he offers, the province of Ontario has come crawling back to its dealer for another taste. “Hey man! You holding any hi…