QUEEN’S PARK – Asked by journalists what Ontario’s new stay-at-home order categorizes as an essential trip Premier Ford answered, with a twinkle in his eye, “If you’re fair of heart and tru…
Tag: Doug Ford
Long term care facilities build runways, take international flights to get Doug Ford’s attention
TORONTO – Ontario’s LTC facilities have been forced to construct their own fake international airports in an attempt to gain Premier Doug Ford’s immediate action on COVID-19 outbreaks. Whit…
Ford slams epidemiologist for anti-pandemic bias
QUEEN’S PARK – In a victory for public health, Premier Ford issued a statement condemning a member of Ontario’s Science Advisory Table for advocating on behalf of public health. A rec…
Ford confident dead Ontarians would’ve been much happier seeing COVID funding used to balance his budget
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario sitting on $6.4 billion in unallocated pandemic-relief funds, more than any other province, Premier Doug Ford assured Ontarians that using those funds to balance…
Ford gov clarifies lockdown rules with new riddle
TORONTO – Facing criticism by Ontarians who don’t understand their new lockdown rules, the Ford government has sought to simplify matters by explaining everything through a simple rid…
Ford warns paid sick leave would only encourage harmful belief that employees are people
TORONTO – Premiere Ford has clarified that Ontario will not be introducing mandatory paid sick leave as he does not want to reinforce the harmful idea that hourly and frontline workers are …
“That oughta do it” says Ford after requiring Costco to close an hour early
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is said to be confident that the COVID pandemic is basically over now that Costco and the LCBO have to close a bit earlier than before. “I think we’re ou…
Ford exempts large US retailers from lockdown, but encourages Ontarians to “blame locally”
QUEEN’S PARK – While refusing to consider paid sick leave or lockdown restrictions on US retailers like WalMart and Costco to COVID, Ontario Premier Doug Ford encouraged Ontarians to contin…
Canadians relieved our right-wing, authoritarian politicians not charismatic enough to inspire Coups
OTTAWA – In the wake of the attempted storming of the US Capitol Building, Canadians are expressing relief that our many far-right, anti-democrat politicians are too bland to inspire an arm…
O’ Toole clarifies only criminals in prison shouldn’t be vaccinated; Criminals in government still good to get theirs
BOWMANVILLE- After receiving backlash for his tweet that criminals should not be inoculated with the COVID vaccine before health care and front line workers, Leader of the Conservative Party of C…
