TORONTO – Walking back his comments from several months ago that young Ontarians are responsible for rising COVID case counts, Premier Doug Ford clarified that it’s not all young peop…
Tag: COVID
Fake doctors take brave stand against real medicine
VANCOUVER – The B.C. College of Chiropractors, firmly rejecting the scientific method in favor of treatment by loud bone-cracking sounds, voted overwhelmingly against a vaccine mandate at t…
Unvaccinated Toronto Police officers on unpaid leave told that if they wanted paid leave they should have shot somebody
TORONTO – Over one hundred uniformed members of the Toronto Police Services who have not been vaccinated have been placed on unpaid leave after being informed they did not meet the brutalit…
Red Cross to support Alberta by airlifting Jason Kenney to another province
SHERWOOD PARK – In an attempt to quell the deadly fourth wave of COVID-19 still sweeping through the province of Alberta, the Red Cross has announced that it will be stepping in to offer em…
Single drop of sweat falls down local dad’s face as he tells daycare worker his child doesn’t have runny nose
TORONTO – As local father Jalen Hart told the worker asking COVID checklist questions at the front entrance of the Little Tot’s Playhouse daycare that his child Marcus did not have a …
Canadian mothers reject Omicron variant: “We have perfectly good Delta at home!”
CANADA – Canadian mothers are soundly rejecting the new Omicron variant spreading across the globe on the grounds that we already have more than enough Delta variant at home. “The man on t…
Tim Hortons confirms that only vaccinated employees will be allowed to spit into the Iced Capp machine
LEDUC – As part of ongoing pandemic response measures, national coffee chain Tim Hortons has confirmed that employees will not be allowed to spit into the Iced Capp machine until they’ve ha…
Ontario case numbers going up even though Ford asked them nicely not to
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford is facing blame for the recent rise in COVID-19 case numbers, despite his valiant effort telling the new cases to “tone it down a bit, if you don’t mind.…
Top 10 medical exemptions granted to unvaccinated Conservative MPs
Canada’s Parliament resumed yesterday, and Erin O’Toole has announced that multiple Conservative MPs received medical exemptions to the requirement that everyone be vaccinated to ente…
“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets
TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unn…