TORONTO – The Ontario PC government is claiming they didn’t follow the advice of public health experts because they were on mute this entire time. Ontario Health Minister Christine Elliott …
Tag: covid-19
International community sends emergency supply of better leaders to Manitoba
WINNIPEG – As supplies for people taking responsibility dwindle, the international community is sending in two hundred tons of leadership in absence of having a Premier who takes the corona…
Veterans fought for my freedom to kill them with COVID-19
By Byron Grimshaw Whenever I reflect on November 11th, I think of all of the veterans who were fighting for freedom and democracy. Many have grown old, but they will be happy to know that I am ex…
Premier Kenney responds to spike in cases by expanding Alberta’s y-axis
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney is taking bold steps at tackling the rapid spread of cases of COVID-19 in the province by expanding the y-axis on all statistical graphs. “The Health…
COVID cases replaces racism as thing Canadians think they handle better than the States
NATIONWIDE – A new survey has revealed that racism has been replaced by COVID statistics as the number one source of contempt for the United States amongst Canadians. “I’m just glad I live …
“Manitobans have a proud history of being cheap,” says Premier refusing to hire new health care workers
WINNIPEG – Premier Brian Pallister strategy to employ volunteers as health care workers during a pandemic is all part of proudly fulfilling Manitoba’s stingy reputation. As the pandemic tea…
Manitoba government responds to packed ICUs with 100 new #RestartMB ads
WINNIPEG – Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister is swiftly responding to the surge of COVID-19 cases in the province with 100 new, state-of-the-art billboards and radio advertisements encouragi…
Local man who always cobbles together Halloween costume last minute grateful he only has to do top half this year
EDMONTON — As Halloween draws near, local masters student Paul McBride is grateful that, unlike previous years, COVID-19 restrictions mean he only has to furiously cobble together the top half of…
Travel Alberta ad invites tourists to marvel at crumbling public health care system
CALGARY – A new set of ads released by Alberta’s tourism agency is wooing tourists to visit the province’s decaying public health care system. Striking support workers, exhausted nurses, an…
Man slipping razor blades into Halloween candy feeling pretty lost this year
TORONTO – Local sicko Hugh Savarian, who’s been carefully sliding razor blades into candy for trick or treaters for the past 37 years of his life, has reported feelings of aimlessness…