OTTAWA – In a desperate attempt to quell the rising spread of COVID-19, the Public Health Agency of Canada put out a notice today warning Canadians against going out to celebrate New Year’s…
Tag: covid-19
Update: Ontario Finance Minister staffers prematurely tweet staged quarantine photos before he arrives home
AJAX, ON – Staffers of Ontario Finance Minister Rod Phillips accidentally released images of the minister staying inside his home while he was still on vacation. “I have started my required…
Ford on seeing Phillips’ tropical Zoom background: “I thought that was Ajax!”
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford insisted that he knew nothing about his finance minister’s trip to the Caribbean Island of St. Barts by claiming his Zoom background of palm trees and wh…
Deadbeat dad behind in health care system payments
TORONTO – A negligent father of over 14 million citizens is still behind in health care system payments. The unprepared political parent only started to reappear in the family picture when …
“You there, boy, what day is it?” says man who hasn’t been outside since March
LONDON, ON- Local man Evan Scranton opened the windows to his bedroom early this morning, pointed at a boy passing-by and asked “You there, boy, what day is it?”, his first in-person interaction …
Ford calls for immediate action in 4 days
TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his government is taking immediate action on a COVID-19 lockdown in the next 96-120 hours. “It was a difficult decision, but we’re swiftly acting wit…
Couple goes ahead with wedding despite pretty big sign from God
LONDON – After 2 years of dating, local couple Lauren and Travis May celebrated their undying love for each other by tying the knot despite the fairly obvious and extremely large sign from God t…
COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines
NATIONWIDE – With the current rollout beginning for the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine, many people across the country are excited about the chance to have bitter arguments about the safety and ef…
Kenney defends maskless meeting claiming it wasn’t a workplace since he hasn’t done any work
EDMONTON – After an image appeared of the Alberta premier not wearing a mask at an indoor meeting, Jason Kenney is defending himself saying it wasn’t a workplace since he has not done any w…
Nation’s uncles scramble to pre-record racist rant in time for Christmas dinner
NATIONWIDE – As COVID restrictions tighten and the uncertainty of family gatherings looms, uncles across Canada are scrambling to pre-record their racist rants for extended families to enjo…