OTTAWA – In an unsurprising move, the Conservative Party of Canada have opposed a potential NDP-Liberal universal dental care plan, and instead proposing their own “fuck you, let ‘em rot” p…
Tag: Conservatives
Everything you need to know about Pierre Poilievre
Pierre Poilievre has been elected leader of the Conservative Party of Canada. And if you didn’t follow the race closely you might be wondering ‘who is this person?’ Is he horrib…
Breaking: Canada loses Conservative Leadership Race
OTTAWA – The results of the CPC leadership competition are in and, on the very first ballot, the country of Canada lost. “The results couldn’t be more clear,” said political analyst Martha …
Conservatives explain why they are supporting Pierre Poilievre for Leader
With Pierre Poilievre expected to be chosen as Conservative Party Leader this week, we sat down with Conservative Party members who explained why they voted for him. Sven McDaniels (Accountant) &…
Policy section of Pierre Poilievre’s website contains phrase ‘to play devil’s advocate’ 38 times
OTTAWA – Frontrunner for Conservative Party Leader Pierre Poilievre has released a detailed policy section on his website about what he will do if elected PM, which contains the phrase R…
Read our best guesses as to what Patrick Brown did
Well over 24 hours since they disqualified Patrick Brown from the leadership campaign for “serious allegations of wrongdoing” the Conservative Party still has not announced what Brown…
I can’t fucking believe I’m about to win again either
By: Doug Ford Look, there is no one more surprised than me that Ontario has apparently liked what I’ve done over the last 4 years. I never thought I was going to win in the first place. One…
Ontario PCs relieved they have enough votes to win even without all the old people they let die
TORONTO – In the wake of over 4,500 long term care deaths during Ontario’s COVID-19 crisis the provincial Conservative Government is thankful that, despite losing thousands of older PC-lean…
Local man totally forgets about Ontario election
TORONTO – Despite election day being only a few days away, local man Steven Del Duca says he hasn’t really given it much thought. “Oh right there’s an election happening s…
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
OTTAWA – In the wake of a leaked decision overturning Roe v. Wade, Canadian Conservatives are promising Canadians that they won’t seek to enact the abortion bans soon to be forthcomin…