TORONTO – In response to a growing rash of armed robberies throughout the city, Toronto Police advised Canada’s banks to leave a big pile of money at the door of every branch to avoid being…
Tag: banks
Inflation’s Silver Lining? Canada’s big five banks offer whopping 0.8% savings account
TORONTO — While Canadians across the country continue to suffer the crushing effects of inflation and a drastic increase in borrowing costs, a silver lining to rising interest rates has emerged a…
Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money
Moncton, NB – Local man Dave Hollings was confused and a little concerned to discover that the password he uses to access a website where literally every dollar he has can be transferred aw…
Economists worry sanctions on Russian Oligarchs may depress housing market to point where Canadians can afford to buy homes again
TORONTO – As Canada continues to impose sanctions on the Russian Oligarchs who prop up both the Putin regime and our overinflated housing market, economists warn this may cause a real estat…
Billionaire child opens his first offshore piggy bank
Cayman Islands – In a right of passage for every child of the .01%, young Mister Chettington Irvine McCain Weston, 6, has been brought to the Cayman Islands in order to open his first offsh…
Report: Bank cheques cost how fucking much?
TORONTO – In a survey of the nation’s major banks, a new report published today states that ordering cheques from your bank can cost anywhere from “Wait, how fucking much?” to “Jesus, you g…