CALGARY – WestJet has finally embraced its reputation as one of Canada’s most reviled airlines with the debut of its new company slogan: “Air Canada, but somehow worse.” The slogan was initially …
Tag: air travel
Air Canada pilots threaten to continue operating Air Canada flights until their demands are met
MONTREAL – In an effort to secure stronger wages, Air Canada pilots are vowing to make Canadians continue to fly Air Canada unless they are granted significant raises. “With no breakthroughs emer…
WestJet introduces $25 fee every time Canadians say “WestJet” out loud
CALGARY – With WestJet now charging a $25 fee to book flights over the phone, the airline has also announced they will now charge a similar $25 fee every single time a person in Canada utte…
WestJet announces SuperUltraBasic fare where customers just stay home and give them money
CALGARY – Days after announcing an UltraBasic fare that includes no carry-on bags or seat selection, WestJet has announced a SuperUltraBasic ticket that skips the plane ride entirely. “Here at W…
“Sit the fuck down, you miserable little cretins” begins Air Canada apology statement
MONTREAL – Air Canada has issued a statement on its latest scandal, calling the complainants “a bunch of pasty-faced fucks” who “couldn’t board a plane if it was parked up their own assholes” as …
Mask-free passenger at last tastes exquisite bacchanalian delight of unprotected airplane air
AIRSPACE — Following lifting of mask mandates for air and train travel, passengers across Canada are finally free to reemerge into the sensual garden of pleasures waiting for them on the inside o…
Lottery travel prizes give vaccinated Albertans chance to bring home exciting new variants
EDMONTON – With the recent announcement that the provincial vaccination lottery will include free air travel and resort vacations as prizes, Albertans are eager to find out if they will soo…
Airlines to start flying with the windows down to prevent spread of Covid
TORONTO – Several major airlines announced today that they would start flying their planes with the windows rolled down to help prevent the spread of the coronavirus. The earlier decision b…
World Health Organization warns those slipping the surly bonds of Earth to stop touching the face of God
GENEVA – The World Health Organization is asking pilots, air passengers and astronauts climbing sunward to join the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds to please refrain from touching the fa…