Vampire lesbians in movies are much more attractive than actual vampire lesbians
By Melvin Silver PhD Candidate in Cinema Studies at the University of Toronto Vampire lesbians are a staple of horror films, spawning one of my favorite sub-genres. From the early and subtle appr…
Ontario Teachers’ Union: We’ll avoid a strike so long as we don’t have to teach that brat Sammy anymore
TORONTO – Attempting to salvage negotiations before an impending teacher strike, the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (ETFO) said they would accept government enforced cuts so lon…
Citing rising allowance costs, Gary Bettman locks his children out of the house
WESTCHESTER, CT – Saying his household could no longer keep up with the dramatic increase in money being paid toward their allowance, embattled NHL commissioner Gary Bettman took the bold s…
Man’s stroke ignored at zombie walk
TORONTO – Tragedy struck at Trinity Bellwoods Park yesterday when a man’s stroke symptoms were mistaken for a convincing zombie performance at this year’s Zombie Walk in the Park. Derek Riz…
Local man concerned that if he starts kissing horses, then where will it stop?
BIGGAR, SK – After an unexpectedly intimate moment with his prize-winning mare, Danziger, local businessman and horse breeder Wayland Price said that he feels, “uncomfortable.” “Well, Danzi…
