Breaking: Trump indicted for the thing you thought he was indicted for last time
MIAMI – Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for his handling of classified information since leaving office, which is apparently not the thing he was indicted for in March. R…
Alberta man acting real cocky about all the wildfire smoke he’s breathed in over the years
CALGARY – Local man Carl Mangan has spent much of the week posting on all social media available to him how Ontarians and Quebecers worried about breathing in the harmful pollutants in the …
Canadians celebrate summer with nationwide campfire
OTTAWA – In a stirring example of national togetherness, Canadians from all walks of life are planning to come together in the summer of 2023 to enjoy a massive nationwide campfire ranging from t…
Child’s homework got too difficult for dad to help with a lot earlier than expected
MONCTON – Dave McKindritch attempted to help his 9 year old son Weston complete his homework this evening, only to discover that things are already a lot more advanced than he was anticipat…
Average number of languages spoken by North Americans falls to 0.7
VANCOUVER, BC ― A new analysis from the University of British Columbia has found that the number of languages in which an average North American adult is proficient enough to converse has fallen …
How to protect yourself from the pollutants in wildfire smoke
Smoke from fires in Ontario, Quebec and Alberta has made their way into cities, where residents are reporting a campfire smell and hazy quality to the atmosphere. Unfortunately this haze carries …
5 iconic Toronto landmarks where it would be fun to find a body on the new Law & Order spinoff
Get your murder puns ready because iconic copaganda show Law & Order is heading north of the border! And while we could focus on CityTv’s choice to make yet another American spinoff ins…
“Ohh, I guess mirrors are woke now too?” claims conservative POC
AUSTIN, TX – In a very expected turn of events, local conservative person of colour Amol Khan has voiced outrage over what he perceives as yet another example of liberal indoctrination: wok…
Toronto actresses psyched to play dead bodies on new Law & Order: Toronto series
TORONTO – Actresses across Toronto rejoiced yesterday at the announcement that a spinoff of Dick Wolf’s famous “Law & Order” series would be set in their city, signalling a chance for t…
Torontonians endure another weekend in crime-ridden, drug-infested hellhole of a city
TORONTO – Thanks to Conservatives like Pierre Poilievre we know that Toronto is basically an open sewer where people shoot heroin on the street before attacking tourists with fireworks. Wel…
