Report: Hozier late for church
NEWCASTLE, IRELAND – Despite numerous pleas for friends, family, and music fans worldwide to “take (him) to church”, 2015 Grammy nominee Hozier has reportedly missed the start of Sunday mass. “I …
Peter MacKay leaves politics to chair university Women’s Studies department
OTTAWA – Earlier today, Justice Minister Peter MacKay announced that he will not run in this year’s election, having accepted a lucrative opportunity in the private sector chairing the Depa…
11 Things Only Polish Nurses Will Understand
No one does shift work like a Saskatchewanian Pole. 1. Little ones love your ‘Babci’ smile. commons.wikimedia.org 2. Attending physicians can never pronounce your name. pixabay.com “Is it Rib-sk…
Thousands of stray dogs shooed out of Olympic stadium in anticipation of Expos’ return
MONTREAL — After the Tampa Bay Rays obtained permission to play half their home games in Montreal, city officials have quickly been dispatched to shoo away the several thousand roving dogs curren…
End of tampon tax leaves only 3,424 areas of gender inequality remaining
OTTAWA – With the announcement that GST will no longer apply to feminine hygiene products after July 1st, the Harper government has managed to stamp out nearly 1/3000th of the gender inequa…
Struggling used book store tries its hand at happy endings
MONTREAL – Used bookshop The Blot & Feather has attracted a swell in once dwindling customers with a novel solution; to exclusively offer happy endings with every purchase. Owner Bernar…
New generation of e-cigarettes will provide authentic cancer experience
CANADA – In a recent breakthrough by electronic cigarette manufacturers the next generation of e-cigarettes on the market will cause cancer and other complications, giving what distributors…
OPP investigating RCMP probing Senators reviewing RCMP scrutinizing OPP union
OTTAWA – The Ontario Provincial Police’s report on the RCMP’s response to the Parliamentary shootings last October may be overshadowed by the RCMP investigating the same Senators who will s…
The Economist magazine ‘mind-numbingly boring,’ says City of Vancouver
VANCOUVER – Responding to criticism from the weekly news magazine The Economist, the City of Vancouver held a press conference Tuesday to publicly decry the magazine’s lack of danger or exc…
Hydro-Quebec boosts profits with freeze-ray
MONTREAL – After seeing the company’s revenue decline in previous years, Hydro-Quebec’s decision to use a freeze ray to chill the province has resulted in a massive income boost. The ray, w…
