Stephen Harper slips into fluent Mandarin during French debate
MONTREAL – During a question on the economy during last night’s french language debate Stephen Harper began speaking in sudden, perfect Mandarin for a few short sentences. “The Prime Minist…
As pope visits US, Canada welcomes lesser-known pope understudy
OTTAWA — While Pope Francis set off on his American tour in Washington, DC, this week, Canadians quietly welcomed a papal tour of their own from the Holy Father’s understudy, Underpope Stev…
CBC moves in with Dave following cuts
TORONTO – Reeling under cuts, CBC has begun to sell off its real estate holdings and moved into a two bedroom basement apartment with 26 year old recent graduate Dave Mullins. “CBC is proud…
Facebook to add ‘talk about this in person’ button
MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA – On the heels of its long awaited “dislike” button, Facebook has announced plans to launch a “talk about this in person” button that will allow users to take their online …
Local monster opens salad bar in botanical garden
MONTREAL — Today, thousands of visitors to the Montreal Botanical Garden found themselves in disbelief after a man voted by Cult MTL readers as “#1 local monster, baby punter, and all aroun…
Leaked documents show Stephen Harper refused to answer four questions during local Seder
TORONTO – Leaked records released today show that Stephen Harper refused to answer four questions posed to him by children at a local Passover Seder on April 4th, 2015. “I was very disappointed i…
Heckler at stand-up comedy show punished by having to watch improv comedy show
WINNIPEG – After repeated rude and crass outbursts at the stand up comedians performing on stage local man Ronny Waldston was removed from the Chuckle Hut mainstage and forcibly sat at the …
Harper reminds non-Conservative voters to cast ballots on October 20th
WINNIPEG — At a recent campaign stop, Prime Minister Stephen Harper has reminded all voters who will not be marking the Conservatives as their choice to vote on October 20th. “The rules of …
Toronto undoes belt, lets gut out as TIFF concludes
TORONTO — Following the conclusion of the annual Toronto International Film Festival, the city itself let out a sigh, loosened the collar of its dress shirt and undid its belt, unleashing i…
Game maker Konami avoids bankruptcy after entering ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA
TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports that the prominent video game publisher would cease all development on console games, the Konami game company reportedly extended their financial life by en…
