Hero driver taps lightly on brakes before plowing into cyclist
TORONTO – Onlookers yesterday afternoon were treated to a remarkable display of the very best humanity has to offer, as local driver Jonas Grumby tapped lightly on his brakes while making a right…
10 ways Conservatives are trying to “soften Poilievre’s sharp edges”
Despite riding high in the polls Conservatives are worried that Canadians haven’t exactly warmed up to Pierre Poilievre just yet. So they’re spending a ton of time and money to try to…
Scientists baffled as Kleenex emerges from washing machine intact
WINDSOR – The scientific community is reeling after a Kleenex has allegedly emerged from a heavy-duty wash cycle soft, usable, and not in a gross little clump. According to local resident Michell…
Fuck! Group of teens just noticed you
EDMONTON – In truly alarming news it appears that a group of 8 teenagers at the mall is looking at you, a fully adult man with kids, a mortgage and a Costco membership. “Stay cool, st…
Corporations hoarding homes thank Canadians for enthusiastically blaming immigration
MARKHAM, ON – As housing unaffordability rages out of control, the loose coalition of corporate landlords, investment property flippers, Airbnb moguls, REITs, and foreign real estate money …
Man who doesn’t care what anybody thinks definitely should
BELLEVILLE — When it comes to what other people think, 19-year-old Mark Griner couldn’t care less. But his friends, family, and community at large are urging him to consider the opinion of litera…
Emboldened Doug Ford sells off Brampton
QUEEN’S PARK – Following the minimal fallout of the recent Greenbelt scandal, where Ontario’s Conservative Government took orders from connected property developers to allow dev…
Most popular sex position in each Province
Canadians love fucking just as much as the next guy. Maybe more since it helps keep us warm in the winter. But turns out we like fucking in different ways depending on where we live. Here are the…
Seasoned traveller impresses date by showing up for dinner wearing neck pillow
EDMONTON — Self-styled globetrotter and citizen of the world Bryan Kneeth scored major points with his date by showing up for dinner wearing his favourite neck pillow. “I’ve seen guys boarding pl…
Canadian flag updated to show maple leaf burning in wildfire
OTTAWA – As a summer season of wildfires rages across the nation, the Federal Government has updated the Canadian flag to more accurately depict the maple leaf burning in an uncontrolled wi…
