I endorse the Beaverton Corporation for Conservative Party Leader

BY: STEPHEN HARPER, CANADA’S 22ND PRIME MINISTER Over these past few months, as numerous candidates have announced their intention to run to replace me as leader of the Conservative Party, …

The Beaverton will restore Canada’s foreign policy to bombing our way into and out of problems

Beloved Beaverton supporters, Justin Trudeau has embarrassed our nation by removing our CF-18s from operations Iraq and Syria. This spineless move only makes our country more attractive for ISIS …

The Beaverton announces bid for Conservative Party leader

Beloved Readers, The country is broken. People are on the streets. The economy is not economizing. The country is being invaded by niqab-wearing, tax-loving, baby-hating, transgender elites who w…

The Beaverton Corporation announces its bid for Conservative Party Leader

  We believe Canada deserves a better Conservative Party Leader: The Beaverton.…

Mike Flynn offers to testify in exchange for immunity to dioxin poisoning

WASHINGTON – The former national security adviser told the FBI, House, and Senate intelligence committees that he’s willing to cooperate with an investigation into the Trump’s campaign ties…

Via Rail’s Canada 150 passes delayed until 2019

MONTREAL – Despite their best efforts to get them printed and shipped, Via Rail confirmed this morning that they would be delaying their Canada 150 youth passes until 2019. “I know Canada 1…

After cleaning his laptop screen, man discovers he’s been typing on old pizza box for months

LONDON – After a thorough cleaning Rodney Rubberts discovered that what he thought was his laptop was actually an empty pizza box he’s been typing on for months. “I just got frustrated,” st…

Study: Balding men sexy, balding women need to go back to the garbage cave where they belong

SASKATOON, SK. – A recent study shed light on the sexual desirability of balding men, while simultaneously concluding that balding women just need to go back to the garbage cave where they …

Political cartoonist under mistaken impression that political cartoonists have never been more important

OTTAWA – Robert Belmont, a cartoonist who contributes editorial cartoons to several major newspapers, incorrectly believes that political cartoonists have never been more important than the…

RCMP report dickheaded Canada geese greatest threat to national security

OTTAWA — RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson has declared asshole Canadian geese are the largest security threat facing the country. “Canadians are more likely to be attacked by these dangerous w…