The Beaverton

A man is sitting down, smelling his own sweaty armpit and giving a thumbs up

Smelly man rebrands himself as savoury man

Pros and Cons of solving traffic congestion by building a big ass tunnel under the 401

Elder Millennial opens zip file of cherished memories

a man sitting on a beach in jeans and a black coat, his back to the camera, looking out at the ocean with his feet in the surf and his hands on his head. There's a CD boombox beside him

Man stranded on desert island regrets bringing favourite album instead of flare gun

I’ve been silent for 21 months of genocide, but this one editorial criticizing Israel will prove I’ve always been on the right side of history

a group of five young children playing soccer on a green lawn on a beautiful day

Millennials increasingly depressed they’ll never be able to tell children to get off their lawn

Experts warn against participating in #asbestoschallenge

OTTAWA, ON- Following a recent survey of medical research, a panel of scientists have discovered that the ‘asbestos challenge’ currently trending on social media is not the harmless f…

Edmonton Catholic schools demand own shame-based Sex Ed curriculum

EDMONTON – In an effort to avoid Sex Ed curriculum they deem “problematic,” Alberta Catholic school superintendents have asked to develop their own sex education curriculum focused on shame…

Adorable! This 8-year-old is fighting the government for his human rights!

Totes adorbs! 8-year-old Adam Ahmed has been fighting the Canadian government to remove his name from the no-fly list for two years, and it’s seriously the cutest! Two years ago, Ahmed was stoppe…

Astronomers say moon will look ‘kinda fucked up’ tonight

OTTAWA—Professional and amateur astronomers will be watching the skies tonight, eager for a glimpse of a rare, sort of fucked up moon. “Tonight’s lunar event is caused by multiple converging fact…

College student concerned strike will affect his opportunity to become a temporary, part-time employee like his professors

OWEN SOUND, ON – A Georgian College student is worried that the ongoing strike at his post-secondary institution may affect his career as a short-term contract employee with few benefits li…