Election Day: Alberta decides between a traditional conservative government and whatever the hell the UCP is

EDMONTON – The polls are open as Alberta voters consider whether to elect a right-wing party devoted to low taxes and substantial governmental support for the fossil fuel industry (the NDP)…

Quiz: Who should you vote for in the Alberta Provincial Election

It’s election day in Alberta! And if you are a resident of the Wildrose Province you may be wondering: who should I cast my ballot for? Well take this fun quiz and then you will be in a bin…

F150 drivers pleased to learn electric version even deadlier to pedestrians

CALGARY – Ford F150 pickup drivers across Canada were pleased and relieved to learn that the electric version of the vehicle is even better at annihilating unsuspecting pedestrians than the…

Clothes in hamper smell good enough

REGINA – Part-time barista Melanie Ericsson has reportedly expressed relief after realizing she had no clean clothes but, fortunately, discovered that those in her hamper had a pleasant-eno…

Report: There are now more bidders to buy the Ottawa Senators than there are fans of the Ottawa Senators

OTTAWA – Analysts tracking the ever growing list of actors, singers and the usual shady billionaires who want to buy the Ottawa Senators have concluded that they now outnumber the people wh…

Pussy-whipped loser can’t even go one night without asking the cops to find his missing wife

REGINA – Pathetic beta male Greg Sharpe is completely humiliating himself by asking the police for an update on his missing wife every single day. “We keep telling Greg to kick back, have a coupl…

7 facts about Pierre Poilievre that probably aren’t true but we refused to be briefed on the actual situation

Even though Pierre Poilievre has been leader of the opposition for a while now there is still so much we don’t know about him. And we were outraged to discover these 7 almost certainly not …

“Hey that actor was in Harry Potter!” says woman every 5 seconds while watching British tv show

DAWSON CITY, YK – Local woman Tess Coleman has reportedly exclaimed “hey, that actor was in Harry Potter” every five seconds, while watching a British TV show. “Here I am, watching the Serv…

I’m your #84735 biggest fan, realistic man tells idol

GRAVENHURST, ON ― In what he describes as the fourth-best day of his life so far, local man Matthias Lane had a chance to meet his hero, Blue Rodeo vocalist Jim Cuddy, after a concert Saturday. T…

Researchers uncover evidence that Stanley Cup Playoffs still in progress

OTTAWA – Officials at Carleton University held a press conference today, announcing their discovery that the long-thought-completed NHL playoffs are, in fact, ongoing. Graduate student Jaso…