LONDON — The news is in! The 57th incarnation of the iconic British Prime Minister will be Rishi Sunak. Sunak will be the youngest Prime Minister in 200 years, as well as being the first person o…
World
Liz Truss resigns after long, illustrious reign of power spanning two British monarchs
LONDON – In a decision that will surely shake Britain and the power structures of the whole Western world, stalwart veteran PM Liz Truss has decided to step down from her long-held seat of power …
Corgis everywhere struggling to find a new gimmick
LONDON, UK – Following the death of Queen Elizabeth II, the world’s corgi population is scrambling to find a new trademark to stay relevant in the global dog scene. “We’ve been trying…
US condemns Iran for policing women’s bodies the wrong way
NEW YORK CITY — In his address to the United States General Assembly on Wednesday, US President Joe Biden condemned Iran’s violent enforcement of the country’s hijab law, saying the right way to …
Buckingham Palace confirms death of Queen at Meghan Markle’s hands probably
LONDON – Britain’s Royal Family has officially confirmed that Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II is dead at age 96, with her cause of death “almost certainly” being Suits suppor…
Mom really upset you made that joke about the Queen
THORNHILL, ON – In late breaking news your mother has reportedly sent multiple disappointed messages this afternoon after you posted a joke about Queen Elizabeth in the family group chat. Y…
Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, dead at 91
MOSCOW – It is with great sadness that we announce Mikhail Gorbachev, who we all honestly thought was already dead, is dead at 91. The former premier of the USSR, Gorbachev was most famousl…
Leaders assure world they have climate change plan to save themselves and that’s all
WASHINGTON, DC – As summer temperatures soar around the globe due to climate change, the world’s leaders announced they do indeed have a comprehensive plan in place to save themselves…
Canada sends Ukraine shipment of duct tape to fix earlier shipment of weapons
OTTAWA, ON- The Canadian government announced it would continue to support Ukrainian forces by sending an entire shipping container of duct tape to the embattled nation to aid in the repairs to t…
British Empire begs Sun to set on it
LONDON — As a record-setting heat wave sets Europe ablaze, the UK has reported its hottest day-time temperature ever recorded, leading many of its inhabitants to cry out at the sky pleading for …