PAWTUCKET, RI – As the US healthcare system struggles under the weight of new Omicron admissions, toy and board game maker Hasbro has announced that all non-critical games of Operation will…
Pandemic
Ottawa declares state of emergency, pending approval of lawless mob
OTTAWA – Following 9 days of sustained protesting the City of Ottawa declared a state of emergency Sunday night, pending the approval of the angry horde occupying the city core. “The citize…
$4 billion stock loss forces Spotify to postpone week’s 0.10¢ royalty payments to artists
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN – After musicians protested Spotify’s $100 million deal with podcaster Joe Rogan, despite his spreading COVID misinformation, the streamer reported a loss of $4 billion wh…
Freedom convoy compares selves to Terry Fox, who famously crossed Canada to protest life saving medicine
OTTAWA – Protestors and organizers of what is being called the “Freedom Convoy” by participants, say they are carrying on the legacy of legendary Canadian activist Terry Fox, who they say i…
Study: Self-isolation as close to retirement as millennials will ever get
TORONTO – A recent socio-economic study by the University of Toronto suggests that the COVID-19 pandemic has put many millennials in the most retirement home-like settings they will ever ex…
Ontario schools really hoping to score a coveted 100% on their PCR tests
ETOBICOKE, ON – As students head back to school across the province, Ontario is holding out hope for a coveted 100% on their symptomatic COVID-19 PCR tests. “Of all the province-wide standa…
B.C. unveils new “what you don’t know can’t hurt anyone” COVID strategy
VICTORIA – After weeks of struggling to adapt their approach to COVID in light of a large testing deficit and a completely unknown amount of infections within the population, the B.C. provi…
Jason Kenney vows to protect Alberta’s vulnerable COVID industry
EDMONTON – Alberta premier Jason Kenney announced today that his administration will work tirelessly to make sure the province’s booming COVID business stays prosperous. “If we allow the Tr…
Beijing’s claims 1st Omicron case ‘arrived through mail’ refuted by anyone who has ever used Canada Post
TORONTO – Claims that the first case of the Omicron variant reported in Beijing ‘arrived on a parcel sent from Canada’ are being met with heavy skepticism by the scientific community as wel…
Quebec to impose financial penalty against unvaccinated, and minorities just for funsies
QUÉBEC CITY – The province of Québec has announced plans to charge a tax on unvaccinated citizens who make up the bulk of COVID hospitalizations, as well as visible religious minorities “ju…