As February 2nd approaches, and I watch my friends and family stress over making the perfect plans for Groundhog Day, I can’t help but sit back and watch in bewilderment. Because you see, for me…
Editorial
I know there’s a lot going on right now but would you mind watching this Kony2012 video super quick
Hey fellow members of the social media universe! I’m coming atcha with a really important message that none of us can risk ignoring. And while I know there’s a lot of wild happenings competing fo…
I bet you fucking idiots think I’m about to drop this puck
By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert …
Opinion: I am so much better than everyone in this Taco Bell
By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works …
I’m not an anti-vaxxer, I’m just refusing to get a life-saving vaccine during a global pandemic
By: Lyle Vucevic Every time the media describes the thousands of unvaccinated Canadians they talk about us like we are all absurd granola crunching hippies or right-wing Qanon truthers. And frank…
I’m the agent assigned to monitor your vaccine tracking chip and I’m bored as hell
By: Agent 361 Hi, I’m the agent who’s been assigned to monitor your every move since you received your covid-19 vaccine and, to be frank, I’m bored as shit. When your file first came across my de…
Editorial: If we cancel Canada Day, how will I remember where I live?
By: Erin O’Toole Listen up, Canadians: I know that some of you, especially the radical left, want Canada Day cancelled because of the recent discoveries of thousands of Indigenous children in unm…
Editorial: Can a celebrity be governor of California?
Following the announcement by gold medal winning Olympian and reality television star Caitlyn Jenner that she will be running for governor of California, the sensitive and unresolved question mus…
Editorial: We’re getting through the entire damn Seder this Passover or so help me I will end you all – by Uncle Morris
As everyone knows I have just one responsibility in this world, and that is to lead us all through the annual exercise in futility that is the Feinstein family Passover seder. And after 16 consec…
EDITORIAL: Antifa spoiled my crops, soured my dairy cows, and fucked my wife
by Mr. Delaware Jackson of Branson, Missouri As a farmer and an American, I’ve had it just about up to here with Antifa attacking my way of life! Before Antifa, everything was perfect: my dairy c…