Steven Del Duca is the Ontario Liberal Party’s new leader and candidate for Premier. So just who is Steven Del Duca? No seriously, I’m honestly asking. Which one is he again? His first name and o…
Ontario
Ontario vows to crack down on stunt driving unless you actually do something sick
TORONTO, ON – The Ontario government released a statement last week pledging harsher penalties for stunt drivers except for those who manage to pull off really gnarly car tricks that will c…
Ontario Conservatives promise universal handguns if re-elected
QUEEN’S PARK – The PC party of Ontario has just announced their bold pledge to provide handguns to all Ontarians if re-elected in June. “My priority is always the safety and welfare of the …
Ford calls 50 cent minimum wage hike “a little reward” for workers who survived covid
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford announced this week that the provincial minimum wage will be going up by $0.50 this fall, which he described as a “tasty little treat” for all those…
Ford apologizes for majority of COVID tests going to private schools, says they should have gone to real estate developers instead
TORONTO – Following a Toronto Star investigation revealing that more COVID tests went to private schools than daycares, paramedics, jails, and homeless shelters combined, Premier Doug Ford …
“100,000 cases a day totally worth this,” thinks man walking maskless into KFC
Oshawa, ON – Local man Dalton Framer took time to savour the fact that he was finally allowed to walk into a crowded KFC without a mask, regardless of the fact that Ontario is currently fac…
Ontario Conservatives pass law banning people from posting positive COVID tests on social media
TORONTO – As part of their ‘don’t say anything about a 6th wave or we’ll cut you’ approach to managing COVID, Doug Ford and the Conservatives announced a full ban on…
Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year
QUEEN’S PARK – As Ontario becomes the last province to sign a deal on the Federal Government’s $10-per-day child-care plan, Premier Doug Ford took credit for achieving his sole negotiating …
“Liberals and NDP working together to prevent a harmful Conservative government? Weird,” say Horwath and Del Duca simultaneously
TORONTO – As news of the federal Liberals and NDP confidence and supply agreement reached them, both NDP Leader Andrea Horwath and Liberal Leader Steven Del Duca expressed surprise at why t…
Doug Ford informs School Boards they can have mask mandates if they go to Private Schools
QUEEN’S PARK – After appearing to reject the Toronto District School Board’s request to extend mask mandates, Premier Ford clarified that they can keep the mandates provided they begin atte…
