HALIFAX – Sources report that Daniel Strickland has amazed onlookers by easily avoiding the steam that poured out of his microwave dinner as he peeled back its plastic seal. “I thought he was g…
Food
Beer that tastes like sweat wins brewing award
FREDERICTON — New Brunswick microbrewery Weasel Belly Ales has won the 2022 Liquid Innovation Prize for developing a new style of beer that experts say tastes like sweat. The winning brew, a pale…
New law forbids tourists from leaving Montreal until they eat a poutine
MONTREAL – Montreal Mayor Valerie Plante announced a new measure where tourists will no longer be allowed to leave the city limits unless they have eaten one of the city’s signature dishes,…
How to listen to someone when there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there
We’ve all been there- someone is telling you a story, probably an extremely personal one that requires your full attention, but also there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there, bathed i…
Roll up the Rim is back and so is the threat of nuclear winter!
VANCOUVER, BC – Canadians are in for a treat this week with the return of two beloved national pastimes: Tim Horton’s Roll up the Rim contest – and also worrying about the devastating outco…
Report: Turtles delicious, come with [own] bowl
HALIFAX, NS – A shocking new report written by acclaimed naturalist, David Attenborough, and published by unlikelyrecipes.com suggests that not only are turtles delicious, but they convenie…
Vaccine passport wasted on Mr. Sub
WATERLOO — In what many are calling a “total waste,” 31-year-old Aaron Berger was seen using his recently-acquired vaccine passport to dine in at a Mr. Sub franchise Tuesday afternoon. “It’…
Tim Hortons confirms that only vaccinated employees will be allowed to spit into the Iced Capp machine
LEDUC – As part of ongoing pandemic response measures, national coffee chain Tim Hortons has confirmed that employees will not be allowed to spit into the Iced Capp machine until they’ve ha…
Local craft brewery makes world’s first sentient IPA
TORONTO- Local Brewers Jeff King and Karl Bluff have shocked the fans of their local craft brewery by releasing an IPA with such hoppy complexity that the brew has gained sentience. “It started …
Opinion: I’m actually protesting at this hospital because the cafeteria options are bad
Sick Kids, Toronto – It appears there’s been a misunderstanding. I am not some jerk who is protesting at this hospital because I don’t want to be vaccinated. I am protesting at this hospita…
