WHITE ROCK, B.C. – With the haze of wildfire smoke as thick as her Mary Kay smokey eye, conservative-leaning aunt, Linda Bertolucci, calmly assured her family, “It’s just a bad year for wil…
British Columbia
City of Victoria attempts to dispose of Sir John A statue via compost
VICTORIA – The municipality of Victoria has come across some difficulty in their attempt to be more green and compost the non-compostable metal statue of the first Prime Minister of Canada,…
Quick-thinking beachgoers save Elizabeth May trapped in plastic six ring pack
SAANICH, BC – A group of environmental do-gooders saved Green Party Leader and endangered species Elizabeth May who was found tangled in a web of six ring beer packs. “My partner and I were…
BC mulls updating singing bowl tsunami-warning system
SALT SPRING ISLAND, BC – The British Columbia government is considering updating the province’s tsunami warning system, which consists mostly of New Age white people sounding their Tibetan …
Airliner permits woman’s comfort whale onto plane
VANCOUVER – An Air Canada spokesperson has confirmed that a Vancouver woman has been allowed to take her comfort humpback whale onto an international flight from Vancouver to Hawaii. A pass…
Trudeau brokers solution to Notley/Horgan dispute by personally killing John Horgan
VICTORIA – Proving once again that he’s able to bring premiers to the table and force compromise, Justin Trudeau has put an end to Alberta and B.C.’s pipeline dispute by personally bludgeon…
Trudeau aims for pipeline accord by Freaky Friday-ing Alberta, B.C.
OTTAWA — In an effort to secure the construction of the Trans Mountain oil pipeline, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has engineered a magical “body switch” on the provinces of Alberta and Bri…
Notley assures BC that in event of pipeline leak, Alberta will pay its utmost respects
EDMONTON – In an effort to quell BC’s concerns over expansion of the Trans Mountain Pipeline, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley has promised the BC government that any oil spill or leak will re…
BC – Alberta standoff has rest of country dangerously close to paying attention to west coast politics
CANADA – With increased tension between British Columbia and Alberta over the Trans Mountain pipeline, including threats of an oil embargo, the rest of the country is scared that they are o…
BC government agrees to reclassify farmland as residential if residents agree to be reclassified as food
VICTORIA – In the midst of skyrocketing real estate and land prices, the government of British Columbia has decided to rezone several agricultural blocks of land as residential but has stip…