EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has now become aware of a condition known as “coronavirus.” “I would like to bring to everyone’s attention of a new disease that I have become aware …
Amber Alert issued for 52-year-old premier
EDMONTON – Edmonton Police Service have issued an amber alert for Alberta Premier Jason Kenney who is nowhere to be found and may be in danger. The 52-year-old, who has the accountability o…
Secular Quebec encourages non-Christians to temporarily convert to celebrate Christmas
QUEBEC – Quebec Premier Francois Legault is calling upon the province’s religious minority communities to temporarily convert to celebrate the lifting of COVID-19 restrictions. Gatherings o…
The Crown blasted for repeated portrayal of Britain
UNITED KINGDOM – After the release of the fourth season of The Crown on Netflix, critics are slamming the show for it’s repeated depiction of Great Britain. “Ugh look at them lampooning ol’…
Local man not going to take coronavirus seriously until family member lay dying in hospital bed
WINNIPEG – Calling it one big hoax, local man Glen Harder is refusing to take the COVID-19 pandemic until it affects a loved one or someone close to him. The 42-year-old elevator technician…
iPhone battery collapsing from 100% to 1% signals arrival of winter
VANCOUVER – iPhones across the Vancouver area have signaled the beginning of winter by collapsing in battery power when subjected to a temperature below 9 degrees Celsius. “I can’t wait to …
Alberta launches contact tracing app notifying users if they’ve been near David Suzuki
EDMONTON – The Canadian Energy Centre has launched a new mobile app that will warn users if they were in close contact with environmentalist David Suzuki. Albertans who download the mobile …
Ontario government confirms public health experts were on mute this whole time
TORONTO – The Ontario PC government is claiming they didn’t follow the advice of public health experts because they were on mute this entire time. Ontario Health Minister Christine Elliott …
International community sends emergency supply of better leaders to Manitoba
WINNIPEG – As supplies for people taking responsibility dwindle, the international community is sending in two hundred tons of leadership in absence of having a Premier who takes the corona…
