LONDON, ON – Gabriel Thompson, the 9 year-old child genius who made waves by being admitted into Major Biology and Mathematics program at Western, is reportedly kicking ass at a game of bee…
Man trapped in endless loop of diving into infinity pool
EDMONTON – Jacob Quinn, a guest at the Mirage hotel is currently entering his third hour of diving into the infinity pool. “I just waited for him to come up from the water, but he never did…
Venetian flood eases traffic
VENICE, ITALY — A record-breaking number of floods in Venice, Italy has significantly eased traffic congestion by opening a number of options for commuters to get to work. “It’s so convenie…
Local atom goes through half-life crisis
WINNIPEG, MB — Particle physicists at the University of Winnipeg have found a rare example of an atomic half-life crisis. “It started when we noticed this one boron isotope acting a little …
Air show opens with sky acknowledgment
TORONTO – In a move that many are considering very progressive, this year’s air show began with a statement recognizing the traditional Indigenous keepers of the airspace where the show was…
HGTV greenlights dream renoviction show
TORONTO, ON- Inspired by the hot renoviction trend in major cities across the nation where tenants are ousted from their apartments under the pretext of improvements, network executives for Home …
Undercover cop at high school successfully completes high school
Victoria, BC – After five years of fruitlessly investigating minor drug crimes at a local high school, sources have confirmed that undercover RCMP officer Frank ‘Frankie’ DeRosa…
Neutral Samaritan takes note of mugging
WINDSOR, ON- An armed mugging was dramatically not foiled last night by local neutral Samaritan Kyle Gierst. Gierst, who witnessed the incident from across the street, took complete notice, and o…
Non-eccentric billionaire swims in pool filled with water
WINNIPEG, MB- Mundane tycoon Nigel Arkridge is taking a dip in an oval-shaped swimming pool filled with water instead of coins or gemstones. “Nigel is a bit of a non-weirdo to be honest.” Said Ar…
Narcoleptic mom gets breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed
Collingwood, ON- Local woman Natalie Worsh is getting breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed for Mother’s day this year, all thanks to her neurological disorder that causes her to fall asleep withou…
