CALGARY – After announcing that the Calgary Stampede would be cancelled for the first time in its 108-year history due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Stampede organizers were at pains to stress …
Trudeau: Withholding bailout funds to stop Canadian companies from using tax havens would undermine our longstanding efforts to not stop Canadian companies from using tax havens
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wants the Canadian business community to know that this pandemic and the governmental response to it will in no way alter the Liberal government’s pol…
Obama wholeheartedly endorses only option
WASHINGTON, DC – Former President Barack Obama has announced his enthusiastic support for Joe Biden by endorsing him over all other current Democratic candidates. “I cannot think of a bette…
Government attempts to stop coronavirus by outlawing communal worship of deity who created virus
OTTAWA – The government of Canada is officially ordering all Canadians to do their part to stop the spread of the deadly novel coronavirus by ceasing any and all worship of the divine entit…
Government rejects universal basic income in favour of 3 minutes inside money booth
OTTAWA – The Canadian federal government has dismissed calls for the creation of a universal basic income as a response to the vast unemployment and economic upheaval caused by COVID-19, an…
Alberta suspends environmental reporting rules to prevent spread of information
EDMONTON – The government of Alberta has used its emergency powers to suspend regulations that require the oil and gas industry to report the effects of their activities on the environment …
Government classifies ‘dat ass’ as an essential service
OTTAWA – Following weeks of public confusion, the federal government of Canada has finally declared that ‘dat ass’ is an essential service which must continue despite the coronavirus pandem…
Alberta’s health minister models excellent physical distancing by yelling at people from at least 2 meters away
EDMONTON – Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro is practicing what he preaches by committing to only respond to people who’ve accused him of unethically benefiting from his role as public …
Canadian government scolds citizens for not fully embracing its half-measures
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made it clear he is very disappointed in members of the Canadian public for not electing to do everything they can to stop the spread of COVID-19,…
Social butterflies soothed by nonstop robocall scams
VANCOUVER – As an increasing number of people are under quarantine or self-isolating to help stop the spread of COVID-19, the stress of long periods of solitude is for many extroverts only …
