TORONTO – As the Wexit movement pivots from independence towards joining the U.S., 30% of Canadians east of Saskatchewan say they are in favour of this, given how entertaining they expect i…
Man whose campaign slogan proposed violent fight for power against people he disagrees with hopes to win over moderates
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole, whose campaign slogan was ‘Take Canada Back’ has announced that he will focus on trying to win over the moderate voters that Andrew Scheer’s s…
Tough NHL players able to play through injuries, civil rights movements
TORONTO – Proving once again that they are the toughest professional athletes on planet Earth, NHL players took to the ice last night, overcoming a litany of injuries and moral qualms about…
Local man fondly recalls early days of pandemic
Dartmouth, NS – 6 months in, local man Jackson Martin has been reduced to looking back with nostalgia at the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. “Remember back in March when we were …
Guy who has definitely gotten into a fight at a minor league hockey game wins Conservative leadership
OTTAWA – Moving on from Andrew Scheer The Conservative Party has selected for it’s leader Durham MP and guy who has for sure gotten into a tussle at a minor league hockey game Erin O&…
Party that wants to manage government can’t manage counting a few thousand votes
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada, a party which would like to be in charge of the whole country, was unable to announce Erin O’Toole’s victory until well after 1am due …
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad
OTTAWA – The Canadian Government announced today that they are searching for a new benchmark country Canadians can compare to now that the situation in the U.S. has reached ‘this is f…
“How could the ref not see that?” yells hockey fan willfully blind to sport’s co-opting by far right
VANCOUVER – Local man Dominic Derkins was furious at the refs for missing an obvious call in last night’s game, wondering if they are hard of sight while he and all other hockey fans …
Oakland cop claims Ujiri’s chest caused permanent injuries to his fists
Oakland, CA – In the wake of a video clearly showing that he assaulted Raptors president Masai Ujiri, Oakland deputy Alan Strickland has amended his lawsuit to claim that Ujiri’s chest and …
Highlights of Andrew Scheer’s tenure as Conservative Party Leader
As Andrew Scheer enters his final week as leader of The Conservative Party of Canada we thought it was only appropriate to look back on his three years as opposition leader. Here are our picks fo…
