EDMONTON – Running for leader of the UCP on a platform of ‘Alberta First’ Danielle Smith took time today to give reporters her clear ranking of the Canadian provinces. “Ma…
“Poilievre is too extreme to win a general election,” says man who also said that about Harper, Ford, Trump and the other Ford
Langley, BC – Local man Eric Anderson is confident that, even if he becomes Conservative leader, Pierre Poilievre’s extreme right-wing positions will make him totally unelectable, des…
‘Never Have I Ever’ Toronto ad features couple who have never been renovicted
TORONTO – The team behind the ubiquitous ‘Never Have I Ever’ spots showcasing Toronto residents who have never participated in well-known Toronto experiences like going to the R…
“Why are you still wearing a mask?” asks friend who’s had Covid 3 times
Oshawa, ON – Craig Batherson, your friend from intramural hockey who has gotten Covid nearly every time a new variant has developed, was surprised to see you wearing a mask. “You know…
Only consolation for homeowners who lost thousands from housing market cooling is the millions they’ve already made
OTTAWA – An Ottawa family is packing up their belongings and moving to what they hope will be their “forever home,” but they’ll be bringing a slightly smaller pile of cash…
Hockey Canada sexual assault scandal a real shock to anyone who has never met a junior hockey player
CALGARY – The revelation that Canada’s junior hockey teams may have committed group sexual assaults on two different occasions, one of which Hockey Canada attempted to cover up, has come as…
Journalism students rush to sign up for ‘report whatever cops say as true’ seminar
TORONTO – Students at Toronto Metropolitan University’s journalism program were eager to attend the annual cops always tell the truth seminar. “As journalists we’ve been t…
Edmonton man furious he actually does know ‘Steve from Toronto’ American acquaintance just asked about
CANCUN – Local man Garth Evers was beside himself to discover he actually does know the ‘Steve from Toronto’ this American he just met on vacation inquired about. “When he…
Read our best guesses as to what Patrick Brown did
Well over 24 hours since they disqualified Patrick Brown from the leadership campaign for “serious allegations of wrongdoing” the Conservative Party still has not announced what Brown…
Canadian man spends entire summer inventing excuses for why he can’t go camping
Stratford, ON – Local man Eric Morgenstern will once again be spending his summer thinking of reasons why he can’t join friends on their upcoming camping trips. “Life would be s…
