CLEVELAND – About to accept his party’s nomination for President, Donald Trump assured a crowd of cheering supporters that if elected, he would create an ethnic/sociological group that was…
Modern day Rosa Parks refuses to give up blasting music on bus
VANCOUVER – Local man Kyle Seinkowiecz, 23, is being hailed as a modern day Rosa Parks after bravely refusing—despite all of his society’s disapproval—to turn down his headphones whil…
Justin Trudeau excited to teach Hillary Clinton about feminism
OTTAWA—In the wake of Hillary Clinton’s success in clinching the democratic nomination for President, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is reportedly “very much looking forward” to discussing his cel…
Woman braces for barrage of street harassment think pieces
VANCOUVER — As warmer weather approaches and fashions become more revealing, women across the country have begun grudgingly preparing themselves for an increase in street harassment opinion piece…
Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day!
OTTAWA—Scientists released a report today indicating that shit! It’s Mother’s Day! Fuck, what time is it? Authors of the report further stated that goddamn it, Mom’s probably already in bed by no…
Ted Cruz raptured early
INDIANAPOLIS — Following a fierce primary battle, Senator Ted Cruz was rewarded for his staunch support of anti-abortion, anti-immigrant and anti-gay policies by being lifted away from worl…
Ted Cruz: No woman should be punished for getting an abortion before she goes to hell
MADISON — GOP candidate Ted Cruz has condemned Donald Trump’s recent statements that women who have abortions should face legal penalties, and emphasized that no woman should be punished for this…
Nation’s women fucking done with this shit
CANADA – Sources report that the nation’s women are so fucking done with all this goddamn bullshit. If you assault women, it’s your fault, and your problem. Fucking get it together or get t…
Trudeaus smuggle bag of tangerines back over border
After crossing the Canada Border on their return trip from the state dinner at the White House, sources confirm that Justin and Sophie Trudeau successfully transported a bag of tangerines past Cu…
Woman in job interview refers to pregnancy as ‘big lunch’
OAKVILLE—Sources confirm that throughout a job interview earlier today local woman Carol Miller continually referred to her six-month pregnancy as a hearty lunch unlikely to require her to take a…
