By Adam Carolla Nobody else is saying it, so I’m going to—today’s college students are spoiled. By allowing them to cower in “safe spaces” and “quiet study zones” and “single occupant washrooms”,…
Shark pressed up against aquarium glass fascinated by wonders of human life
TORONTO—Reports show that Freddie, a 2-year old tiger shark at Ripley’s Aquarium, has pressed himself up against the glass to get a closer look at the incredible spectacle of human life playing o…
Trump pulls out of climate change agreement in hopes climate will cave, give better deal
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has announced that America will be withdrawing from the Paris Accord on Climate Change, a move which his administration says will force the climate to agr…
Honest Ed’s demolition crew rescues 3rd group of lost shoppers this week
TORONTO – crews tasked with clearing the enormous warehouse discount store Honest Ed’s have encountered its third contingent of roaming, disoriented shoppers since Wednesday. Foreman Jim Pe…
Melania Trump whispers encouragement to refugee family hiding in Trump Tower walls
NEW YORK CITY — Reports have confirmed that at approximately 12:03 AM eastern time, just after the last of the servants had gone to bed, First Lady Melania Trump was seen whispering gentle words …
Black Lives Matter’s rhetoric too divisive says man calling Trump Hitler
TORONTO—Seated with a group of friends over brunch earlier this week, local man Tim Edwards was seen ruefully explaining how Black Lives Matter Toronto’s rhetoric has gotten too hyperbolic, espec…
Kevin O’Leary wears disguise to volunteer at soup kitchen without attracting attention
RED DEER – Sources have confirmed that businessman and Conservative leadership frontrunner Kevin O’Leary donned a disguise so that he could serve underprivileged people without calling atte…
Rumours resurface of Louis C.K. cornering women, forcing them to watch ‘Horace & Pete’
TORONTO — In the wake of Louis C.K.’s record-breaking stand-up comedy tour, which included a recent performance at the ACC, ugly rumours have resurfaced involving the beloved comedian exploiting …
Ultra-hip new restaurant revealed to be just stalled escalator
TORONTO—An “amazing” new restaurant which has been delighting patrons since its surprise opening two weeks ago has been revealed to be merely a stalled escalator in the middle of a downtown comme…
5 Reasons Love Actually is a feminist masterpiece, as well as a Coded Map to Zorboth, the Intergalactic Shadow Realm
Christmastime is almost upon us, and if you’re like us, it’s time to get ready to re-watch Love Actually. The only downside of loving this British romantic comedy is how much flack it will get yo…
