VATICAN CITY – In an effort to combat plummeting Catholic numbers, Pope Francis has okayed a program of ‘ambush baptisms’ to boost the church’s membership. “Let’s face it, between Vatican I…
Rebel Media asks viewers to place retirement savings into ‘Rebel Ponzi Scheme’
TORONTO – Controversial media website The Rebel has unveiled a new investment opportunity for its viewers: Canada’s first conservative-only ponzi scheme. The “Rebel Freedom Scam” promises s…
Patrick Brown drops out of PC race to plan next re-entry to PC race
BARRIE – Embattled former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader Patrick Brown has suspended his campaign for party leader, in order to spend more time planning his upcoming campaign for p…
NRA loses sponsorship deal with Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins
FAIRFAX, VA — In the wake of the Parkland, FL school shooting and subsequent public outcry, the NRA has lost several major sponsors including their latest: Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins. …
Trump insists only way to stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun
Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…
Declassified memo alleges FBI investigated Trump Campaign just because they did a bunch of crimes
WASHINGTON DC — A bombshell memo written by the House Intelligence Chair alleges the FBI opened an investigation into Trump Campaign officials based solely on the fact they done an absurd a…
Trump beats spread by keeping US Government open almost 1 full year
WASHINGTON D.C. – At midnight, President Trump defied political pundits and Vegas bookmakers alike by keeping his United States Government open for a full year – much longer than any …
Loblaws accused of price-fixing scheme on apology gift cards from last price-fixing scheme
Brampton, ON — Grocery chain Loblaws, which recently offered $25 gift cards to apologize for a nationwide 14-year-long price fixing scheme on bread, has been accused of subjecting the gift …
Tim Hortons heirs encourage minimum wage employees to inherit their own coffee chains
COBURG, ON — After cutting employee benefits and paid breaks, the heirs to the Tim Hortons fortune are encouraging their minimum wage employees to make up the lost earnings by inheriting mu…
“$60 for 10GB” phone plans give Canadians euphoric glimpse of cell pricing everywhere else on Earth
CANADA — A limited time offer of 10GB of data for $60 per month by Canada’s main wireless providers have left Canadians reeling in ecstasy as they encounter cell plans that would be pretty …
