WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has demanded the resignation of EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, claiming Pruitt had not shown enough commitment to personal enrichment and graft. De…
Local condo construction stretches on into 2nd or 10th year
TORONTO — Sources report that the condo construction project at the corner of Bathurst St and St. Clair Ave shows no signs of completion after either 2 years or a full decade. Locals report…
America just going to permanently leave flags at half-mast
AMERICA — In the wake of the latest mass shooting, the United States of America has collectively decided that it makes more sense to leave their flags at half-mast on an ongoing basis. “Low…
AMAZING! This dog saw his owner was having a stroke and called Domino’s
They say dogs are man’s best friend, but if you ask me pizza comes in at a close second! Fortunately for Lethbridge, AB’s Brian Chambers, who experienced a life-threatening stroke, he got the bes…
Kathleen Wynne loses Kathleen Wynne endorsement
TORONTO — As the provincial election looms, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne announced that she is rescinding her endorsement of Liberal leader Kathleen Wynne. “This was a difficult decision,…
Canada responds to US tariffs by asking which Trump child they need to bribe
OTTAWA — Following Thursday’s Washington announcement of steel and aluminum tariffs against many of its closest allies, including Canada, Ottawa has asked which Trump kid they need to pay o…
Inspiring! This incel dealt with being single by making himself toxically unfuckable
We’ve all been there. You don’t have a main squeeze of your own, and it seems like everywhere you look are happy romantic couples who are going out of their way to make sure YOU don’t forget it. …
Trump Admin explains 1,475 missing migrant children “not so bad if you think of them as ‘animals'”
WASHINGTON D.C. — Amidst reports that Health and Human Services has lost track of nearly 1,500 unaccompanied migrant minors, White House officials have insisted the number is less horrifyin…
Trump demands two Nobel Peace Prizes for cancelling North Korea Summit
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following the surprise announcement that the White House has unilaterally backed out of a planned summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, President Donald Trump has d…
NFL defends their 1st Amendment right to deny players their 1st Amendment rights
NEW YORK — NFL team owners are defending their decision to prohibit players from kneeling during the national anthem, claiming they are simply exercising their First Amendment right to deny…
