CALEDON, ON – A sense of dread filled the air midway through Kayla Dissellia’s party as one attendee claimed they have a great game for everyone to play next. Up until that point, the casua…
Makers of Chess announce $20 Mecha Queen DLC
VANCOUVER – Chess is an ancient game which can be traced back to being nearly 1500 years old, with gameplay remaining largely unchanged over the past 500 years. That is exactly why the deve…
Eugene Melnyk spends entire press conference referring to team as “Houston Senators”
KANATA, ON – After a little more than a week after wrapping their 31st-place season, Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk held what was otherwise a routine press conference today about the t…
Local man blissfully unaware he’s picked as kill during every game of Fuck, Marry, Kill
OSHAWA – The game of Fuck, Marry, Kill is a popular social activity where players are presented with three romantic options and must sort them into the titular categories as they see fit. U…
Team of Mascots arrive from the future to kill Gritty before he gets too powerful
PHILADELPHIA – Mayhem broke out at the Wells Fargo Center this evening, when a Flyers practice was interrupted as an interdimensional portal opened up with several grizzled looking NHL masc…
Unemployed man thinks hockey player lacks hustle
LETHBRIDGE, AB – During a hockey game Tuesday, local unemployed man Gareth Krag became quite outspoken about the lack of hustle shown by players on both teams. Over the 3 hour broadcast, he…
Fan theory suggests “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy!” take place in same universe
LOS ANGELES – The internet is running wild with speculation today as a new fan theory surfaced on Twitter spreading its way across various other social media sites with the suggestion that…
Child hoping parents divorce in time for two Christmases
STONY PLAIN, AB – With only days left until Christmas, local 2nd grader Ryan Nepalen is hoping his parents will finally make the long overdue decision to separate in time for him to have tw…
Philadelphia Flyers relieved to learn that everyone else can see Gritty too
PHILADELPHIA – During a media scrum earlier this morning, members of the Philadelphia Flyers were brought close to tears upon learning that mascot Gritty was something other people could se…
Are Millennials killing the Hooded White Robe industry?
OTTAWA – Once considered a staple of North American culture, the hooded white robe is fading away into obscurity and many are wondering whether millennials are to blame. Financial investmen…