EDMONTON – Budget cuts to the Royal Canadian Artillery Band has forced one of its musicians to perform the Last Post using a recorder commandeered from a grade 3 class. All instruments from…
Gym TV closed captioning delayed by an hour
PORT ALBERNI, BC – Members of the Alberni Valley Community Center have been in a state of overwhelmed confusion by the hour delay of their gym TV closed captioning. “We are trying our…
That one guy you know from high school still defending Kanye West
MISSISSAUGA – A recent string of concerning posts on your Facebook feed has revealed that someone you went to highschool with still stans for Kanye West. Hunter Maldonado, the guy who would…
Vancouver School Board worried that learning will get in the way of film productions
VANCOUVER – The Vancouver School Board has expressed concerns regarding the safety and productivity of film crews and the negative effects the returning student body will have on them this …
Wedding attendee upset that there weren’t more pictures of her
KAMLOOPS BC – A disgruntled guest of Marsha and Graham Staedler’s wedding filed a complaint in regards to the lack of pictures taken of her last weekend. “I mean it’s ridiculous…
Weird cousin performs two hours of knife tricks at family gathering
BURNABY BC – Guests of Aunt Linda’s annual summer barbeque were dumbfounded last Saturday when fourteen year-old Riley Cresswell performed knife tricks at them for 2 hours. “He dropped it a…
Nanalan’: Canadian television treasure or collective children’s fever dream
Childhood, a time of innocence and also being a child, when the candy doesn’t hurt your teeth and movies are always just under 90 minutes. If you grew up in the late 1990s, you would remember how…
The Giving Tree found guilty of embezzlement in CRA audit
HUNTSVILLE, ON – The Giving Tree has come into trouble as the Canada Revenue Agency released information containing proof that she was guilty of embezzling $1.2 million dollars in a recent …
City of Victoria attempts to dispose of Sir John A statue via compost
VICTORIA – The municipality of Victoria has come across some difficulty in their attempt to be more green and compost the non-compostable metal statue of the first Prime Minister of Canada,…
