TORONTO – A sleep deprived medical resident finishing his required 36-hour shift has forgotten which patient he left his keys in. “Ah shit, not again,” Dr. Tate Williamson, rummaging throug…
Holy shit! Winnipeg wins something!
CALGARY – Early reports indicate that a team or organization relating to, or originating from, the city of Winnipeg has finally won a championship above the amateur level. Portage and Main …
Impeachment hearings relocated to Vancouver to reduce production costs
VANCOUVER – The hit new show Impeachment Inquiry has relocated its set from Washington DC to Vancouver saving US networks millions in production costs. The CSPAN drama featuring rising star…
Liberal appointed Minister of the Lower Class has to take bus to cabinet meetings
OTTAWA – In the wake of the Liberal government appointing the first Minister for Middle Class Prosperity, the lesser known Minister of the Lower Class will be required to commute to cabinet…
Blood-stained Jason Kenney fires police officers investigating murder
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has announced $2 million more in savings for government coffers after firing the police officers investigating him on suspicion of murder. “Making co…
Catholic Church erects monument for fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest
BELLEVILLE, ON – An anti-abortion monument has been erected by the Knights of Columbus for the fetuses who will never grow up to be a victim of a priest’s abuse. “The Catholic Church contin…
Heroic senior citizen keeps CRA scammer on the line for hours
VICTORIA – An 87-year-old woman is being praised for holding up her alleged phone scammer for more than three hours in a conversation preventing the suspect from making future calls defraud…
Quebec’s version of Don Cherry happy real Don Cherry fired
QUEBEC – A Quebec man clearly inspired by former Hockey Night in Canada host Don Cherry says he is glad the abrasive sports pundit who inspired him has been removed from his job. The Premie…
Don Cherry passes Fox News job interview
NEW YORK – Former host of Coach’s Corner has successfully passed his Fox News commentator/reporter interview with flying colours after a televised discussion with Tucker Carlson. “We’re ver…
Alberta legislation permits health care workers to religiously sacrifice patients
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has hastily passed legislation to permit health care workers the right to make human sacrifices to appease their respective deities. The Conscience…