MOSCOW – Russian President Vladmir Putin says his country’s athletes will still be participating in the Olympics despite a 4 year ban by representing the country Russia is partially occupyi…
TSN applies trigger warning for Leafs fans
TORONTO – Before watching or listening to any Toronto Maple Leafs game on TSN, viewers will be required to read and agree to a trigger warning to avoid traumatizing any Leafs fans. Producer…
Trudeau insists he was talking about another brash, incompetent US President also named Donald Trump
BUCKINGHAM PALACE – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has clarified that he, and other world leaders were talking about a different US President also named Donald Trump when they were caught on…
Report: Ottawa’s LRT designers inspired by Phoenix pay system
OTTAWA – Designers of Ottawa’s new light rail transit line were reportedly inspired by the Canada’s dysfunctional pay system for federal public servants. Documents indicate the French rail …
Danes, Dutch form nation after growing too tired to explain they’re different countries
COPENDAM – The leaders of Denmark and the Netherlands have announced their countries are now unified explaining that the burden to explain the difference to North Americans is not worth the…
Doug Ford starts Christmas celebrations with traditional cutting down of wind turbine
PRINCE EDWARD COUNTY, ON – Ontario Premier Doug Ford and his provincial counterparts got into the holiday spirit by chopping down their own Christmas wind turbine. Ford invited his friends …
“You think you got problems, buddy?” sobs Scheer drunk on milk to bar patron
OTTAWA – A sad scene unfolded at an Ottawa bar as Andrew Scheer succumbed to the anxiety of an uncertain future as Conservative Party Leader drinking far too many dairy beverages. “Oh, your…
Bill Peters asks Calgary GM to forward apology to black player if he gets the chance
CALGARY – Calgary Flames coach Bill Peters has asked the team’s GM to forward his apology letter to the black player he racially taunted and put down while he was a coach in the minor leagu…
Trump pardons serial killer Son of Sam after learning about his military service
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has issued a presidential pardon to the notorious serial killer Son of Sam after Trump discovered the murderer served for three years in the United St…
Rioters demand return of Anne with an E
CHARLOTTETOWN – Cities across the country are paralyzed amid the chaos stemming from the cancellation of the CBC-Netflix series ‘Anne with an E.’ The protestors, ranging in age from 8-17 an…