For many new parents, one of the biggest stresses of bringing home their little bundle of joy is making sure that their home is safe. The home is a nightmare of hazards, from knives, to bathtubs,…
Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent!
Oh boy, am I in over my head! And the worst part about it? I don’t even realize it. Here I am, in the grocery store, when one of my kids asks me question. You know, the kind of basic question tha…
CIA coup of United States apparently delayed one more day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Putting off plans that everyone assumes were drawn up as soon as election results were confirmed, the CIA has seemingly balked once again at overthrowing the dangerous an…
Medical AI working as self-driving car after foreign credentials rejected
WATERLOO – After having its medical credentials rejected due to their overseas origin by professional health organizations, an artificial intelligence smart enough to be a doctor has only b…
Man who brought TTC into the 20th century resigns
TORONTO – Addressing a crowd of reporters, Andy Byford, the man who worked tirelessly for the last five years to bring the Toronto Transit Commission into the twentieth century made public …
Millennials applaud new PC Optimum points as the only retirement plan they can afford
TORONTO – After recently buying Shoppers Drug Mart, Loblaw’s has merged the nation’s two most popular consumer loyalty points programs into the PC Optimum points program, finally giving mil…
Wow! These laid off coal miners have retrained as social media influencers
Move over Trump! You’re not the only one bringing jobs back to coal miners. Once so-called victims of today’s highly automated economy, these seventeen former employees of Teck Resources Ltd. hav…
Couple calling each other “babe” after forgetting names five years ago
BRANDON, MA – Living together in quiet desperation in fear of being caught, a local couple has resorted to referring to each other as “babe” after both have completely forgotten what their …
Former NDP leader Tom Mulcair retires to scream-cave
OTTAWA – After losing the federal election to Justin Trudeau in 2015, and more recently the leadership of his own party to Jagmeet Singh, former New Democratic Party leader Thomas Mulcair h…
David Schwimmer reports OJ Simpson won’t leave his home or stop calling him Robert Kardashian
LOS ANGELES – After playing his deceased best friend Robert Kardashian on the hit television series American Crime Story, OJ Simpson, now released from a nine-year prison sentence, refuses …